What Matters Most in Life?
If I had to choose one question that I would ask you to reflect on, particularly when ushering in a new year, birthday or other milestone date, it would be: what matters most in life?
I remember the first time I was asked a variation of this question: “what matters most to you and why”. It was in my business school application to Stanford, and it took me completely off guard. I became quite emotional when writing my response because it forced a level of introspection I had never gone through before.
In the past, I had always asked myself “what do you want”, but this question is flawed. We want and go after a lot of things that aren't necessarily linked to our authentic desires. Our wants are often heavily shaped by external influences and social norms that, over time, can suppress our deepest desires if we aren't mindful.
But asking “what matters” and then adding the qualifier “most”, forces you to look within, identify and acknowledge only those things that would truly bring you joy (if you would only nurture and express them). Wrapping it up with “and why” further pushes you to curate your responses by justifying them.
So I now pose this question to you as it is key to manifestation and the ability to dedicate focused effort towards your most important pursuits. Take some time and dig deep to uncover the answers, as I'd argue that if your responses don't trigger any emotions then you are only scratching the surface and need to go further.
Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. — Goethe
What I am asking is that you embark on a journey of self-exploration that culminates in you clarifying who you really are and how that translates to your aspirations in life.
We live in a world of limitations. Limited time, limited money, limited energy. You shouldn’t have a scarcity mindset but you should recognize your capacity. You can not do it all (no offense to the “lean in” clan) so it is high time to narrow your focus.
Humans do have a natural, innate desire to grow and pursue more. So no, wanting more is not the problem either (sorry minimalists). It is completely ok to want more and from my work as a personal and business coach, I've found that most people want three things:
Fulfillment — pursuing meaningful work that makes you happy while having a positive impact on others
Freedom — feeling empowered to live on your own terms and freely express your interests and your ideas
Fortune — developing a growth mindset and the pertinent skills to create wealth for yourself and others
However, the fear, unhappiness and overwhelm stems from the way in which you approach these desires. Challenges typically arise from lack of:
Purpose — not clarifying what matters most and why
Process — not developing a plan for how to obtain it
Progress — not identifying and overcoming obstacles
So as you uncover what matters most and why, you also need to ask yourself:
What do I need to stop, start, keep or discard in order to pursue what matters to me most?
What systems do I need to put in place to provide a solid foundation of structure and support?
If it wasn't for this question I wouldn't have had the courage to risk it all so I could live a purpose-filled life. I'm doing what I do because I took this question seriously and I can truly say that, despite all the ups and downs, I've developed a deep and enduring sense of happiness as a result.
The key to manifesting your heart’s desires is knowing what they are and living in alignment with them. It is hard for me to fully articulate the profound feeling that comes from heart-centered living, but my aim is to help you experience it for yourself because it is a beautiful state of being.
Read
On the Shortness of Life by Seneca is a quintessential guide on how life can feel long and fulfilling when you focus on what matters.
The Eisenhower matrix is a simple but powerful decision-making tool that empowers you to channel your time and energy on what's most important.
Structured Procrastination is both a concept and book by Stanford professor John Perry that explains the positive aspects of putting off certain tasks.
Does it Matter by Alan Watts is an enlightening series of essays that explores man's relationship to materiality, and the issues that ensue when we put more value on things that don't actually matter.
The Monocle Book of Gentle Living is an inspiring visual guide to slow and simple living that encourages us to make the most of life by indulging in pleasant activities and connections.
If you appreciate the concept of a digital detox but aren't exactly sure how to start one, this New York Times article outlines some expert-backed advice on what you can do.
Getting Things Done is a personal productivity system (and book) that is centered around eliminating mental clutter so you can more efficiently process your tasks and obligations.
The KonMari Method of decluttering and organizing became a global phenomenon for a reason. When you tidy up your space you also set the building blocks for tidying up your life.
You can't control everything but you can control what you pay attention to and, as this Harvard Business Review articles explains, this is essential to achieving what you really want from life.
Mental Models are thought processes that are used to understand and navigate the world. You can choose and strategically leverage these tools to think more clearly and execute more effectively.
Explore
The Design Your Life course by Stanford professors Bill Burnett and Dave Evans will guide you through a step-by-step process of figuring out what you really want and how to obtain it.
A planner is an essential productivity tool, and this embossed leather organizer by Symthson has functional details that will make task management feel effortless.
Green tea is known for its cognitive benefits such as improving your ability to stay focused. The jasmine green tea by Rishi is organic, potent, fragrant and delicious.
Timepage is a beautiful and intuitive smart calendar app by Moleskine that integrates form and function into its technology so you actually enjoy being more efficient.
There's a reason why the Deep Focus playlist on Spotify has almost 4 million followers. If you are looking for music that helps you get in — and stay in — the flow, try this.
Avene Thermal Spring Water is a refreshing mist that not only soothes and softens skin, but also provides a revitalizing pick-me-up.
Consistently ranked as one of the best to-do list mangers, Todoist is a sleek productivity app trusted by over 30 million individuals and businesses.
Some prefer to write out tasks and view them in physical format. If that's you then this weekly desk planner, in a luxe Desmond & Dempsey print, is a stylish option.
Blue light filtering glasses help lessen the eye strain from working on a screen. Since you'll use them all day, opt for a timeless high-quality pair by Chanel.
If you need to shut yourself off from the outside so you can get things done, consider the Bose noise canceling earbuds that use world class technology so you can bask in silence.
