Your Desires Aren't Problems

One mental activity that can completely drain your energy and lead to emotional and physical stress, is constantly worrying about how to achieve or attain your desires.

I am fortunate that my natural disposition is even-keeled and I'm not prone to stress. Low stress is a pillar of my longevity plan and one of the reasons why I look and feel 20 years younger than I am. However, there is one low-vibe habit that can easily activate high levels of stress in my mind, body, and spirit. This is a form of mental rumination where I become stuck trying to figure something out. 

There have been many times when I had a goal or faced a challenge and could not figure out how to solve it for the life of me. However, I would repeatedly attempt to sort out a solution. The inability to figure it out would cause mental anguish, depleting my energy. In this state, my body would feel tired and my mood low. Instead of standing in my power like a Queen, I felt burned out and defeated.

Only after completely draining myself would I give up and walk away from the situation. Of course, not long after, a solution would appear. Via epiphany or serendipity, I would figure it out with minimal effort, or the path forward would be revealed through someone else. 

I've recently decided this is a wildly unhealthy pattern, so now I refuse to exhaust myself trying to solve problems. Instead, I'm remaining regal by adopting an "everything with ease" mentality and taking shortcuts. If a solution isn't readily available, I skip straight to the part where I leave it alone and let it work itself out. 

So many of us have goals or desires that we treat like problems. When we want something, we immediately jump into solving and planning mode. We put a whole strategy in place to figure out how to get what we want, but the issue is not the strategy, it's the energy. 

When you approach every desire with the mindset that you must strive to get it, you instantly create a barrier that stops you from thriving. Your strategy prevents you from having the right energy to support the healthy pursuit of pleasure, so going after what you want is a painful experience.

Stop treating your desires like they are problems to be solved or things to be chased after. Instead, view them as things to attract with ease.

I'm not referring to the law of attraction here, although you can apply those techniques if it aligns with your beliefs. In this case, I'm referring to a means of deactivating your natural tendency to make things more complicated than they need to be.

If you tell yourself it has to be hard or have deep beliefs within your shadow self that automatically assume hard work is the only way to accomplish anything, you will think and behave in a way that creates resistance. You may not even see how your thoughts and actions are self-sabotaging you and blocking results. So the two best things to do when you have a strong desire are:

LEAN IN when it feels good 

Assist with the feel-good energy by using inspirational tools like mood boards to get excited about your goals and dreams. Also, limit who you share them with, and only discuss with high-vibe people who will encourage more enthusiasm within you. When you are in this state, you will more easily brainstorm and create ideas, be drawn to the right information, and make connections with people who can help you manifest what you want. 

Lean back when it feels bad  

When you start to feel tired or frustrated or experience brain fog, that's the time to practice structured procrastination. In short, this means taking a break until you can resume the activity in a revitalized state. You can also switch to thinking about or working on elements of the goal that uplift you.

What about desires that need a more defined path and timeline, such as applying for schools or jobs? I’m an expert at getting into top institutions — from studying at Stanford to working at JPMorgan — and this is my approach.

Create a schedule that allows you to work towards your goal regularly but still be mindful of your energy. For instance, when applying to MBA programs, I worked on applications in the mornings before work and on weekends when I was at my best.

I also suggest allocating daily time limits so you don’t overexert yourself. Whatever you do, don't keep drudging away on anything when you are depleted. The quality of the output will be poor, which will lead to subpar outcomes. 

Healthy desires that are focused on what matters most, should be positive pursuits that uplift your life. Why overshadow the manifestation process with overwhelm? Do whatever inner work you need to do to pull yourself out of the place where the only way you can have something is through toil. This scarcity mindset dampens life’s delights by reducing them to commodities that have to be mined and manufactured.  

The journey toward your desire should be sweeter than the desire itself. Balance strategy with energy so you are drawn to your desires, and they are drawn to you. In this state your attitude and actions will align, and you will have a knowingness that puts your achievements on autopilot.