Learn How to Let Go
Public Domain Photo of Model Christy Turlington
Why are you holding on to anyone or anything that is not serving you? Here’s why you should let go.
If you can't clearly articulate the value of something, specifically its value to you, then why do you have it? It doesn't matter if it's a relationship, a job, an object, or a habit. If that thing isn't adding value, then it is subtracting value. There is no middle ground.
All things take up physical, mental, or emotional space, and therefore you are always expending energy on them. When it comes to your energy, there is no neutral state. Whatever you give energy to will either result in positive (additive) or negative (deductive) outcomes. So holding onto something that isn't additive, is automatically deductive.
You may spend time with a friend that doesn't replenish or uplift you during your interactions. That is not a neutral relationship. That is a relationship that is taking up your time (a form of energy) for nothing in return. That friend may not be a bad person so you may think it's ok to keep them around. But just because they are a good person, doesn't mean they are good for you.
Everything good isn't by default good for you. There are a lot of nice-to-haves in this world. Your job is to determine which of these add the most value to you and focus on those.
People who have compulsive hoarding disorder, which is a clinical psychological condition, accumulate things in excess regardless of their value. The urge to acquire and hold valueless things causes them great distress and seeps into all areas of their life. This behavior is linked to a misattribution of worth to something that, in reality, has none. In other words, it's the act of acquiring and holding that fills an unmet need, not the item itself.
If you are holding onto something that isn't valuable, ask yourself why in order to get to the root of your insistence on having that useless thing. Perhaps you're afraid of being alone, so you entertain connections that you really don't want or need. Or you keep putting energy into a flailing idea because you fear failure.
That thing, then, is acting as a distraction. You are using it to mask a bigger issue. This is a form of self-sabotage that requires shadow work to sort out. Fear is a leading cause of our attachment to worthless things. When we are afraid or feel out of control, we latch onto anything that provides a sense of stability, even if it's false.
But standing in your personal power requires you to face your fears not bury them under thoughts, things, or persons that don't serve you. Let go of these faux security blankets so you can make space for that which is worthwhile.
